I’m still awake at 1:30 a.m. with a cup –– yes, a cup –– of wine on my right side and a cup of Kafe Kreme on the left. It’s that kind of balance that I’m longing to achieve ever since No Filter ended.
For the first time in 13 months, I only have Young STAR and this blog to think about. I have no Sandbox, no TKS, no Stache. It’s strange having all these free time. I managed to watch three movies while cleaning my entire room in one day. Yesterday, I watched a Bollywood movie, finish two books and even created a Tumblr for my new yearly project. I miss that kind of self-benefiting productivity. I’ve never experienced anything like that in about a year.
To be quite honest, I also miss the routines: the simplicity of afternoon commutes from school while listening to Hoagy Carmichael to laying out a magazine every two months to setting up a projector in Circuit Makati for a No Filter show. Now, one of the most drastic changes in my life is currently happening and I’m sort of overwhelmed by it.
So, now what?
I can easily take on more freelance work to develop my skills or I can sell my soul to a corporate day job for more stability. I can probably hold workshops on basic Photoshop or InDesign or I can tap more publications where I can share my collage and photography work. I’m presenting myself with more options that I can even imagine doing and that only brings more confusion than final answers.
The truth is I don’t know what to do. And maybe that’s okay. After all, my track record says that I’m good at being at the right place at the right time. And somehow, just being where I am is the best place to be.